Car Living: Houseless Not Homeless

As a very small child, my family had a some what gypsy life style. We lived in a caravan that consisted of a 1964 Dodge 330 sedan, a 1971 Dodge Power Wagon military truck which towed a giant wooden camper, a Jeep Willies, a VW Bus and a few other assorted vehicles. It was the 1970's, my parents were hippies and we drove from Maine to New York to Washington DC to Utah and all the way back to Maine in this fashion.

I was 4 years old when we "landed" and settled down to life on a farm, keeping only the 1964 Dodge as any reminder of our car living gypsy past. At age 9 the car was abandoned by my parents, and I bought it from my father and had it registered in my name. For the next 30 years it would sit as the center piece of my giant rose garden until May 5, 2010 when the car was stolen. (See http://www.squidoo.com/StolenCar ). During those 30 years, much of my life was spent living in that dead car. It was a better, friendlier, more comfortable option than the dirt-floored shed-thing I lived in: http://www.squidoo.com/aspergers-syndrome-and-me#module43307922

I have Autism, which makes life difficult in many ways. I do not function "normally" and have a hard time understanding many things which the average person finds simple. Because of my Autism, I also never went to school, and my parents, thinking me retarded, never bothered to teach me even the simple basics of every day living skills.

My life was untouched by what my parents called "the outside world" or "humans" (both viewed as evil in their conspiracy theory frame of mind.) Neither of my parents were mentally stable as I later came to find out. I was 27 years old when my mother suddenly up and left with some new guy she'd met. My dad (a hermit, whom though he lived on the same land as we did, I had only seen a few fleeting times in my entire life) retreated from living in the barn with the chickens to living in the wood shed, so I still rarely ever saw him.

In recent years people often say to me "What are you a feral child? What did you live under a rock your whole life?"

About that, yes, actually, I am and I did.

Believing I was too retarded to waste any time or energy on me, my mother kept me locked in a shed-room-thing off the back of the house for the first 27 years of my life - a dirt floor, a rotten ceiling that did not keep out the rain, no heat, no windows, one tiny light bulb on a chain for light. And, though I knew I had a father living out there behind the barn some place, I had rarely seen him

I'm 35 years old and I've only had contact with humans since I was 31. The fact that I am able to speak to you verbally at all, well, I think I've come a long way in 4 short years, and the only reason I have not yet learned social skills is because humans refuse to spend time with me...it's not like I haven't tried...but they just push me away and no one has yet taking the time to show what socially acceptable skills are. I've no clue how to respond to other humans and my responses to humans I've met, tend to send them into raging hysterics. I've been told I suffer from blunt honesty and no social graces what so ever. Only time will tell if humans will teach me social skills or not.

But, moving on...

In 2006 my life was changed dramatically. A flood swept through taking our tiny 4 room cabin house with it, and left my dad in a coma. Not knowing what to do I went to a neighbor for help. They called 911, a concept I had no knowledge of at the time. My dad was in a coma for 2 months and me? I had no idea what to do, so grabbed a tarp and lived under it for the next 3 years.

After the first few weeks it occurred to me, that living in a car would be a better option than living under a tent, but my only car was the 1964 Dodge which, thanks to vandals was minus it's wheels and floor panels, along with most of it's running parts. So I found a $900 Volvo and set out to trying to figure out how one should go about learning to drive.

I became homeless in May of 2006. Our first blizzard of the season hit in October (see photo above). The second blizzard of the season arrived in November, along with the record breaking announcement that it was the coldest winter in Maine history. I bought the Volvo in December 2006.

My decision to buy a Volvo was based on many things. First of all was the square boxy shape of it, which meant that it could be packed with more things than a aerodynamic round contoured car. The square shape also meant more head room, thus more comfort.

Volvos are good on gas, mine gets 22mpg, sure, other cars get better milage, but not other cars this size. I can get much better milage with a Honda Civic or an AMC Gremlin, but have you ever tried to sleep in the back seat of either one? No? Well I have, and I can tell you, been there, done that, never again!

And than theirs the issue of a trunk for storage - you could almost fit a Honda Civic in the trunk of my car, whereas I had a hard time just getting myself inside the Honda. When I was looking for a car, I was considering a Volvo station wagon, but opted for the sedan instead, because I'd rather store stuff in the trunk, than behind the seat.

It's a 4-cylinder. Now, I've talked to a lot of guys who think that's a bad thing. They ramble on about needing a V8 if you want to leave the red light at 80. I'm going, what the? Why the heck would I want to leave the red light at 80 and than spend a week in jail for being 50miles over the speed limit? They said: "It's a guy thing." Yeah, well, I'm a girl, and for me slow and steady wins the race. I want a safe reliable car, not a race car! If I wanted speed I'd buy a Stingray (heck, when I save up enough money, I'll buy a Stingray anyways, but that's besides the point.) I'm looking for a car to live in, not a car to run the drag strip.

My Volvo happily purrs along at 30mph, it does not like speed and protests any attempt to pass 40, which is fine by me. I only use her for driving in town anyways.

And for this particular car, a black exterior and a black interior meant more heat absorption from the sun, thus a warmer interior with less effort from the battery, something required if you live, like me, in an area that can see snow 6 to 8 months of the year, with accumulations of 9 to 20 feet per season.

It's an antique. Okay, so that's not a plus in practical matters, in fact that's a minus because it means the car needs to be turned up more often and breaks down more often, than a Volvo 20 years newer than the one I ended up buying...but, it's an antique and that gives me an excuse to hit the car show circuit, which I really, really, really, really love hanging out with all the people that devote their lives to fixing, restoring, and showing antique cars, and living in an antique car gets me right in the shows with them.

My Volvo being an all original antique means I need to treat her like a baby and not go on any rough handling roads, don't go speeding off and ruining the engine and over all, handling her with kid gloves to keep her both a show car and my house at the same time. This poses special problems in and of itself, seeing how when she breaks down, I may have to wait a week or more for a local garage to special order the parts needed to fix her. A less eccentric and more practical person would not choose an antique car when buying a car for the purpose of car living, but, no one ever said I was practical...and well, I do dress like Liberace so yeah, I kind of make other eccentrics look normal.

And well, I just plain like Volvos and have been wanting one for years, so becoming homeless just gave me the kick in the butt to go get one.

Now for me, my Volvo is pretty much perfect. Others may have different needs when it comes to car living. Most probably will already have a car when they become homeless and will just live in what they already have. But me, I had no car at the time, and went into car hunting knowing I was going to be living in this car, so it effected how I looked at cars.

I am more fortunate than most who live in a car. As though we lost our house, we still had the land it had sat on and thus, for the most part, I have a permanent place to park my car and spend the night. This makes car living much easier. This also makes it easier as I do not have to use my car as often as other car livers would, seeing how many places I go are less than a mile away and thus I can walk to them, leaving my car "home".

This also explains my having 10 cats and living in a car at the same time. Yes see, while the house is gone, the barn is still standing and thus while I became homeless (houseless) the cats did not.

This also means that I still have my rose garden, and am able to grow my own food to eat, while living in a car.

As I said, this does make car living easier than it would be for most, however it does not solve all problems. It still leaves me with out a place to keep my books, which had to be sent to a friend's attic or my organ which was sent to a friend's basement. Not much else survived the destruction of the house. I've still no place to sleep, other than the back seat of my Volvo or in a sleeping bag on the ground. (I sleep outside under the stars on warn clear nights.) And no bathroom is no bathroom no matter how you look at it.

Fortunately our land is in a forest with a brook running through it, and though not clean or sanitary by any means, (brackish water from a peat bog and thus not drinkable) it can be used as wash water, thus giving me a place to wash my cloths, dishes, and of course my car (in a pail of hauled water, not in the brook itself, of course!) 

Still, a car is not a house, and the seats are not rooms, so adjusting from house to car is never easy.

One of the most common questions people ask me (after they ask: Why are you dressed like that?) is: Why are you carrying that bucket of water? Soon followed by: What's with all the tote bags? And than: excuse me, but is that a record player and wow what do you do with all those records?

#1) My clothes: I'm a CosPlaying Life Actor and a huge fan of Liberace. No, this is NOT a costume, yes, these are my normal every day clothes, no I don't own any "normal" clothes. I fell in love with Liberace when I was 3, I've idolized him since 1978, he is the most perfect man to ever exist, no I'm not married and yes Liberace has a lot to do with it. Liberace died when I was 12, and I started dressing like him a few weeks later, I mourn his passing every day as the greatest tragedy of all mankind. Yes I admit I am obsessed. no, I have NEVER worn "normal" clothes since that time, I've dressed like this for 30 years now, this IS my normal. No, to me, you are the one dressed freaking weird. No, I don't have any other clothes, my wardrobe is what I am wearing, you're looking at it. I've got two wardrobes, each with two sets of clothes. One winter wardrobe and one summer wardrobe. Yes, that does mean I only own 4 dresses total. I wear one dress for a month, than wash it while wearing the other for a month, come summer, I put the two winter ones in the trunk and start wearing the two summer ones. What do you mean I need more clothes than that? I live in a car, where the heck would I put them? It's not like I have a closet!

#2) Water. A 5 gallon bucket with a tight lid. Yes, that IS a bucket of water in my car. No, I'm not going fishing. While getting bottled water for drinking in easy, getting water to wash your hands and face with, is not so easy, and harder still is getting water for an over heated car, when you are stalled miles from the nearest water. I never start the engine of my car if I do not have a bucket of water with me.

#3) Lift my tote bag. I dare you. It weighs 45lbs. Here's take two. What do you mean you can't carry two because one is too heavy? I'm carrying four! I get my daily work out with these things, but they also carry everything I need to survive: first aid kit, my Dungeons and Dragons books (I'm a Dungeon Master), food and cookbooks (gotta eat!), shampoo-soap-towels-etc (gotta keep clean), everything I need to get by, including a sewing machine, iron, and cutting board and a complete line of sewing equipment, accessories and supplies.

#4) Yes, that IS a record player you see, and it's a 78 player at that, and look at this: it even plays 8-tracks too! I keep telling you I'm Liberace's #1 biggest fan, why are you not listening to me? Hello! He was a singer back in the 1950s, almost nothing he did is available on CD - hello - 700+ songs and only 24 of them are available of CD! Yes, my Volvo does have a CD player in it that cost more than the car did, but how the heck am I going to listen to Liberace without a record player? And the records? Well, let's see what we got here: Liberace and Liberace and Liberace andoh well you lot at that, this one is Liberace too...and you'll never guess what all these over here are, yes, that's right, lots more Liberace. You think I'm overboard with my Liberace fandom? Well, heck, just wait till I get done rhinestoneing my Volvo...no, not kidding, look, I've already started buying the rhinestones, see? Yes, I AM currently in the process of turning my Volvo into an Art-Car in tribute to Liberace.

In addition to these things, you will also find in the trunk: a 4 foot crow bar, jumper cables, engine oil, power steering fluid, fan belts, fuses, bulbs, other random parts and oils etc for my car. Pieces of my car as they fall off and I throw them in the trunk. Rope...it really has 101 uses, never leave home without it. A 20 pound bag of cat food and a 50 pound bag of cat litter. The food is for my 10 cats, the litter is for the ice on the road when I slide off the road into the ditch and need traction to get out of the snowbank. We get a lot of snow in Maine. A BIG cooler for drinks and food. A spare tire. Car tools. A pillow. A blanket. A sub-zero sleeping bag. Two shovels, yes two, not one, but two because you would be surprised how many people often stop by after a snow storm to say: "Gee, I'd help you shovel out your car if only I had a shovel" Really? Well I just happen to have a spare, here... Three window scrapers for the same reason. Never test me on something or pull a bluff, because I have Autism, I don't know the difference between a serious offer to help, a joke, or a sarcasm, and if you try to bluff me, I'll call your bluff, and believe me, I do come prepared for anything.

And yes, one of my reasons for choosing a Volvo is the fact that it has an absolutely ENORMOUS trunk. With all that stuff listed above in the trunk, I still have room to take my relatives shopping for their once a month buy 3 months of food just in case the world ends, shopping trips.

...being written...

One of the big advantages of living in a car is that your expenses are drastically less than the ones you had while living in a house. Most home owners or apartment renters require at minimum $1,000 just to pay the house bills, while $5,000 per month is a more common average. While living in a car, I have been able to live on an income of $2,000 per year.

Of course, one of the big disadvantages of living in a car is the fact that earning an income is not as easy as it once was, thus requiring you to HAVE to live on an income that from talking to other car dwellers, seems to never be more than $5,000 per year.

I have heard some car dwellers complain that they had a good paying job, and lost said job, when their boss found out they were living in a car, and than were not able to get another job since.

I too, had a job, once upon a time. I lost my job, not because I was homeless or car living, but because my relatives keep showing up at work and harassing the customers and sales girls. My relatives have serious mental problems when it comes to the subject of religion. They view their religion as THE single most important thing in the world and everything else be damed. They vocally and publicly condemn all non-members to hell, accusing them of being Satan's Advocates. The problem I had with them, was I worked at Macy's as a fitting room attendant. This job in their minds was beyond evil. For one thing, it involved fashion, thus vanity, thus I was committing and promoting one of the Seven Deadly Sins. And secondly, I'm a female and it was a job, a major big no-no seeing how in their minds all females who have jobs are wicked, evil sinners in need of immediate repentance. And so every day I had to deal with them barging into the store, railing on scripture verses and accusing me and all other female workers of being evil sinners...and it's Macy's for crying out loud, there are like 200 female workers there! My sick minded religiously insane relatives cost me my job and I'm very upset with them because of it.

My relatives, however, are also the reason why I've yet to have another job, and why after 400+ job interviews in since 2008 I'm at my wits end trying to figure out how to get a job. They have a nasty habit of showing up at my job interviews, storming in, creating havoc, and costing me any chance of getting a job now or at any time in the future at each place I attempt to get a job at. It is very frustrating.

So, to date, thanks to my obnoxious religion crazed relatives, my only way of making a living is to work online from my car. While I have been online since 1997 and have made money online that entire time, I did not make a massive attempt to make a full time income online until February of 2007.

While I have $4 - $20 per month coming in from each of dozens of various online sites, there are 2 sites that stand out: Squidoo and Zazzle, the two sites that provide 90% of my income and from whom I am making a combined total of anywhere from $100 to $800 a month.

Through out most of that time Squidoo, has been my #1 source of income. As one of Squidoo's top 50 highest paid members (out of nearly 2 million members) I'm getting between $75 - $200 per month, (their highest paid member is paid an average of $600 per month). This is money paid to be directly from Squidoo, and not additional money that is paid to me by affiliate links promoted on Squidoo lenses. To date I make less than $200 per year on outside affiliate links, however, Squidoo's highest paid member (the one with the $600 a month pay days) also earns $5,000 per month via outside affiliate links he places on his Squidoo lenses, so it's an option I plan to expand in the future.

I watch my paydays to see when it's high and when it's low: it high just after the Script Frenzy and NaNoWriMo contests every year. Why?

Because a lot of my lenses are self-help how-tos for new writers and self publishers, both of who enter the 2 contests mentioned and well, I've been with both contests for 8 years and been self publishing books 31 years, so a lot of people ask me for advice during the contests and I tell them: "I wrote an article about that, you can read it here:..." with the link to the Squidoo lense where the article is. And if I don't have a lens to answer their question, I say: "Hold on, I'll write an article about that topic..." than next day I've got a new lens.

During the contest months (April and November) my writing/publishing lenses average 700 visitors a day and usually end up on the top 100 list for a couple of weeks.

I see it again in October, I've got a lot of costume making lenses, because I'm a CosPlayer and Life Actor and I design and sew all of my own stuff and people I meet locally start asking where I got my costumes and I'll tell them I designed them and sewed them myself, than hand them a business card that lists my Squidoo lenses for costume making. This always results in more traffic to my lenses in October.

Same thing goes for other sites On Zazzle I make $100 - $800 per month. In the summer months my Squidoo pay drops, but that my Zazzle pay goes up. Why? Well, on Zazzle I sell a lot of local beach photography and the local tourists want to know where they can get mugs, t-shirts ect with photos of local scenery, and I hand them my Zazzle store business cards.

Zazzle, Etsy, CafePress, LuLu, Spoonflower, ArtsCow, HubPages, Associated Content, etc, I've accounts with them all and it don't matter which one it is, it's just like Squidoo, if I want to keep my paydays up, I'm constantly having to tell people, "Hey, I sell that, here's my online store!" or "I wrote an article to answer your question, here's my lens!"

Zazzle has me listed on their home page as one of their top 100 highest paid sellers (out of nearly 40 million members). I would also like to point out that I have 30 different Zazzle shops featuring over 800 of my drawings, paintings, and photography, with a total of over 20,000 items/products listed for sale, and the $100 - $800 per month is the COMBINED total of sales across all of my shops together. Now, I don't know how much other Zazzle sellers are making, but I can tell you that Zazzle says their #1 top seller ever, earns and income of $25,000 per year and he is a swimsuit model photographer. And there's a big jump between $2,000 per year and $25,000 per year, so if I'm in the top 100 at $2,000 per year, and they have 40 million sellers, than there are not many people earning the $25,000 a year incomes of their top seller, but that won't stop me from aiming to reach his level!

But yeah, it's all about self promotion. And let's face it, if I don't promote myself, than who well? If I wasn't actively sending people to my lenses myself, my traffic and therefor my paydays would be much, much less, because Google doesn't send hardly any one to my lenses at all. If I wasn't telling people where to find my lenses, my lenses would probably never make much money at all.

And as I said, I'm not into affiliate link marketing yet. I have joined PepperJam, ClickBank, Conection Junction, Share a Sale, and LimkShare though, so hopefully I will experiment with these for a while until I can figure out how they work, and hopefully use these to bring in a better income. Only time will tell how this turns out.

But for other car dwellers looking to earn money online, I highly recomend Zazzle, Squidoo, and Etsy and here are my own sites so you can have a look and see what exactly it is, that I do to earn an income:

I live in Maine where it can get quite cold -20F (yes that's minus as in 20 degrees below 0) is not uncommon in my neck of the woods. We have has snow every month but August. We have had storms that dumped over 9 feet of snow in a single night. On the Atlantic coast, on the beach, where I live, the air drops to match the ocean temperature which is often -48F. Yes, I have seen icebergs off the coast here, one washed up on the shore about 40 years ago, it doesn't happen very often, but it does happen.

In short, it's cold, it's very cold, and it's cold for months on end. But, I like Maine, so I live with my choice and make sure I have a good sleeping bag, park in the sun, and keep my car's heater in good working order.

And my car, being 30 years old, it does not like to start in cold weather, and the door locks jam after a freezing rain. I discovered that putting 0/20 oil in the engine, buying a new battery every winter, and spraying inside the locks with WD40 cures those problems.

But than again, Maine is strange and some years we don't get any snow at all, go figure. Twice in my own life time I have seen years when Maine had alarmingly high temperatures. In 2001 it reached 102F and in 2010 it topped off at 97F, both years the heat wave lasted months on end.

Most none winter months Maine's weather is wet (either rain or snow) and averaging between 40 to 60F.

In the spring we have Thunder Storms and flood season. In the summer we have a dry rainless spell filled with lightening and hail. In the fall we have hurricanes and more floods. From October to April we have winter and frigid cold, snow squalls, thunder snow, freezing rain, ice storms, NorEasters, and blizzards to contend with.

All in all it's a lot of change in the weather, mostly cold weather, almost always wet weather, and a steady steam of thunder and lightening year round.

Well, when you live in a house, you don't notice these things that much, but when you live in a car, heck, you notice them a lot and you notice them fast.

Safety is a must if you car dwell in extremes. Parking considerations include, avoiding tall trees during storms, making sure you are not in a swampy place prone to flash flooding.

Dressing like Liberace the way I do, I learned years ago to ignore criticism, name calling, labeling, bullying, teasing, and other forms of petty small minded harassment, 99% of which has been aimed at me by 200+ of my 264+ relatives. So when I moved into my Volvo and they took to criticism, name calling, labeling, bullying, teasing, and other forms of petty small minded harassment because I was living in my car, I basically said "Up yours!" and went on with my life. 

Other car dwellers I've talked to, however, had relatives that actually at least pretended to care about them in the past, so when they were forced to live in their cars and their relatives asuddenly attacked them with endless rounds of criticism, name calling, labeling, bullying, teasing, and other forms of petty small minded harassment, they handled it badly and sunk into deep fits of depression and shame and lived hating the fact that they lived in a car, and thus started making wild attempts at hiding the fact that they lived in their car. I being used to the steady non-stop daily criticism, name calling, labeling, bullying, teasing, and other forms of petty small minded harassment, to begin with, found the criticism, name calling, labeling, bullying, teasing, and other forms of petty small minded harassment about my car living to be just more of the ho-hum same old same old, and so personally have found no shame in living in my car and find no reason to hide the fact or try to pretend that my home is anything other than a 16 foot long metal clan sofa on wheels.

The problems I've had with my relatives was not their criticism, name calling, labeling, bullying, teasing, and other forms of petty small minded harassment, but rather their annoying lack of respect for my privacy, and their inability to comprehend the fact that living in a car is NOT the same thing as driving a car all of hell and back 24 hours a day 365 days a year!

The most common and reoccurring problem I have had while living in my car is being taken advantage of by family and friends, people who have a house to live in, a car that runs, and a job to pay for said house and car. These people, looking to save a buck or two, will see me getting into my car, and without asking permission, leap in the back seat with a "So, while you are going out I need to go, here, and here, and here, and oh, yeah, I've got all these places I've got to go too, and here's a few more errands I have to do while we are out."

And try getting their asses back out of my car once they have jumped inside. They won't budge.

To make things worse while in my car, they make a mess, leave trash on the floor, not one or two candy wrappers, no, I'm talking they brought a bag of actual garbage with them and dumped it out on the floor. Why? "The garbage man didn't pick up the trash this week, the snow was too deep, you don't mind if I stuff these bags in here do you?"

Hello! This car is my HOUSE! The back seat is my living room sofa. Of course I mind! You wouldn't like it if I barged into your house and dropped 4 stinking, slimy trash bags on YOUR living room sofa would you?

Than they climb in the car, screaming: "Why the hell did you get such a small car! You know I don't fit through these doors!" The bags split as he kicks his feet on the doors and dashboard. Why does he sit there kicking the doors and dashboard? Because he is so fat, that he gets halfway in the door, gets stuck, and than kicks the dashboard to either push himself back out or kicks the doors to push himself the rest of the way in.

Because of this loud, obnoxious, rude, inconsiderate, and morbidly obese person, kicking the dashboard and doors as he gets in and out, I now have a cracked dash board - split completely in two separate pieces, two cracked interior door panels, one broken door window, and broken springs in the front passenger seat.

I try to explain I am on my way to a job interview, he responds with: "Who's going to drive me around if you go to work?"

And where is he going that is so important?

• "I need to go aggravate my ex-wife today." is his most common reason for jumping in my car.
• Another is: "I have to go to the post office to mail this half a toilet seat to the guy down the street, he's so half-assed."
• "Gotta get to the soup kitchen before all those stupid homeless people get there and take all the good food." is a reason he uses twice every week.
• "My ex-wife and her husband need me to go take a look at this house for sale, it's not out of your way, it's only a 5 hour drive to get there."
• And than there's: "I broke the axel on ANOTHER car, I need you to take me to all the car dealers until we find one who's got a car with doors big enough for me to fit in."

I fail to see the importance of any of these reasons.

Again, and again, and again, I keep telling him: "I'm not your taxi." His response: "But you are in the car anyways." Hello! I live in the car! Of course I'm in the car anyways, I havn't got any place else to go! Just because I get in the car doesn't mean I'm going to start it up and drive all over the state for no reason at all.

#1) Gas is $4 a gallon, and I STILL don't have a job because no one wants to hire a homeless person with Autism.

#2) I stay in one spot because I can't afford gas to drive far. I walk most places. If I'm starting the engine, it's because I'm on my way to look for a job, so I CAN pay for gas.

#3) Did I mention gas is $4 a gallon and you want to drive across the state on a 5 hours one way trip! That's $20 one way! Another $20 to get back home. I don't have $4 to buy a meal at McDonalds, how the hell do you expect me to pay $40 for gas?

#4) I costs me money to keep putting in new windows, new door panels, and I've yet to save up the $600 I need to buy a new dashboard. I don't have a place to dump the garbage you dumped all over my back seat - 4 big white garbage bags full of trash. You smash my car up and dump rotted food, dripping soup cans, and cat litter full of cat shit all over the back seat? You don't pay for the damages, you don't clean up after yourself, and you never ask before leaping into my car in the first place, I mean, what the hell? Get some manners! *sheesh*

#5) Just because I'm in my car 24 hours a day, doesn't mean I'm driving 24 hours a day! I need to eat and sleep once in a while, you know! Yeah, that's right, while you got a kitchen and dinning room and table and chairs to eat at, I don't, I eat in my car. While you have a nice warm soft bed to sleep in, I don't, I sleep in my car. I sew crafts to sell on line and yes, I sew them while in my car. I write books and articles to sell online, and yes, I write them in my car. I draw and paint, and sell my art online, and yes, I draw and paint in my car. And guess what, I can't do ANY of those things while I'm driving! If I'm driving, I'm not working, and if I'm not working, I'm not making money, and if I'm not making money, I can't buy gas so I can drive my car. So, yes, while I am in my car 24 hours a day, I'm rarely driving it more than an hour a week.

If your relatives are rude, inconsiderate, obnoxious slobs like mine: Don't let them in your car unless they pay for a full tank of gas AND fill the tank back up after you get done carting their asses around. AND if they damage the car, don't take them any place again until they pay the repair bills. And than tell them to call a taxi, bus, or train whichever happens to be closest by.

One of the unfortunate problems you deal with living in a car, are other people of the race known as: vandals.

In certain areas you will find such people more common than in other ares. While in rural ares, I never once had such problems, but when it became necessary to move into a city for a short while, they seemed to be endlessly every where. Throughout 2010 I had to deal with my fair share of them.

The most notable event occurred in June of 2010. My Volvo was parked over night in the private driveway of a friend's home. We had a week of thunder storms and I spent the week there. This person lives in a downtown inner city 6 family apartment building. Across the street is a bar room, and on the corner a block away, is a small park that acts as the meeting place of two rival gangs. During the night, members from one of the gangs, got drunk at the bar, than went down the street wrecking cars.

When I awoke the next morning, I found my car (along with every other car parked in the lot that night, as well as the cars parked on the street) buried under shovelfuls of dirt, sand, and gravel, and several rocks on the roof and hood. They had taken a screw driver to the hood, fenders, doors, and trunk. They not only peeled off the paint, but they dug in so deep that they gouged out shavings of metal as well. The fenders and doors had been beaten with a baseball bat. My beautiful, meticulously clean and ding free mar-less showroom looking antique Volvo now looked like some one had just pulled it out of a scrap yard.

I was actually quite lucky as my Volvo was one of the cars to receive the least damage. It was all surface and body damage, and though it was now banged up and clawed at, mechanically, there was nothing wrong.

Most of the cars however, had been totally trashed, and only a few came out of the ordeal with glass still intact. The woman across the hall from my friend lost the windshield in her truck, while my friend's car had the tires slashed, and another friend's car had the side window smashed out. When the report was written up in the papers the next day, it said that more than 20 cars had been hit that night on 3 different streets. Considering how badly some of the other cars were damaged, I was very lucky.

Unfortunately, while I was able to maintain my car's show room exterior prior to this event, I have not yet been able to afford to have the dents removed and the car repainted, and so it remains in the stat of looking like a beat up piece of junk until I am able to save up enough money to re-restore it.

A second vandal attack occurred not far away, the following winter. This one, was more dangerous however. I have lived in this area 40 years and being a Mormon with no permanent address, I attend whatever happens to be the closet LDS Ward (church building/congregation) to the current parking location of my car.

As it happens, there is a local person, whom, well, just really, doesn't like me (or any other Mormon for that matter.) On this particular day, I was leaving church services to see a familiar silver station wagon fleeing the parking lot. I knew who it was and thought nothing of it, as she often appears at the church to hand out anti-Mormon pamphlets and quote long lectures about the "evils of Mormonism". I assumed that was what she had been doing once again.

The Volvo had difficulty starting, but the temperature was 24 degrees so I assumed it was the cold. As I was backing out of the parking space, an 8 year old boy ran out behind me. I slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting him: nothing, no brakes. I turned the wheel to swerve around him: nothing, no steering. The kid ran away unharmed, and I confused looked under my car to see the lines cut.

The following night the temperature dropped to 22 degrees below zero, with the wind chill coming up off the ocean bringing it down to 48 degrees below zero...and the next morning I found my self with a frozen water filled gas line, the reason why the car had had difficulty starting at the church.

This event left me with out a car to live in, for 2 whole weeks, while a local shop worked on the car and waited, and waited, and waited, for parts to arrive as they did not normally stock parts for a Volvo as old as mine. Fortunately I knew some one who lived near by and was able to stay with them until my car returned from the shop.

One of the most common complaints I hear from other car dwellers is dealing with the police. They complain of constantly having to hide from the cops, always worrying about being stopped, pulled over, or when parked, being asked to move.

If you are not doing anything wrong, the police will not stop you. Contrary to popular belief, the police are not out there looking for homeless people to harass, because they are too busy preventing law breakers from breaking laws. Now as a car dweller, a homeless person living in your car, it is to your advantage to know the local laws and simply obey them.

Advice: If you don't speed, the cops won't stop you! No matter what the speed limit is, I always drive 3 miles under it. I've never once gotten stopped.

Advice: Click it or ticket. They can't stop you for not wearing a seat belt, if you've always got it on!

Advice: Drive and just drive. Don't drink and drink, and this is not just about drunk drivers either: a very common cause for accidents is spilling hot coffee in your lap because you were drinking the coffee while driving! Don't text and drive. Don't talk and drive. In fact, if you are driving, just turn off the phone! Maine has had more deadly accidents caused by texting drivers, than those caused by drunk drivers! Now there's something to think about! I don't know about other states, but in Maine there is a $500 fine if you are driving a car and DO NOT have BOTH hands on the wheel at all times. The police can, and often do, stop people for driving a car while holding a drink, cigarette, or phone!

Advice: If you keep all of your lights in good working order and your car isn't leaking oil, puffing smoke, dropping rust, or squealing belts and tires, than the cops won't stop you for mechanical reasons either. A well tuned car is a car dwellers best friend.

Advice: Thou shalt not litter. In Maine it's $500 for every thing you toss out the window of your car. Did you just toss out a cigarette? That'll cost you $500. Fling two candy wrappers out the window? How about $1,000 and a night in jail? Yeah. Maine laws a tough, but our streets are nice a clean. It's the first thing tourists say when they talk to us native locals: "Maine is so clean. How do they keep the trash off the streets?" The answer: They charge you $500 for every tiny little scrap you leave behind. Put your trash in a wastebasket and you'll have no trouble with the cops.

Advice: If the sign says "5 minute parking" it means if you are not gone in less than 6 minutes, you can be sure a tow truck will take your car before the 7th minute arrives. And if the police tell you to move your car and find some place else to park, well, don't argue with them, don't sit there saying you live in your car, just start up the engine and move the dang car.

Advice: If you run around acting like you have to hide from the police, slamming on the breaks when you see a cop, running away when an officer walks by, jump around terrified when ever the police are near - well than yes, they are going to stop you. There's nothing more suspicious to a police officer than a person who is terrified of cops, because by their logic the only people who need to fear them are criminals and if you are scared of them, than they will think it must be because you are a criminal and stop you to investigate what it is that you are trying so desperately to hide from them. So, just relax, breath, and let the cops go about their job, because they have better things to do than wonder why you are running from them.

Advice: In short. Drive safe and obey the law and you have no reason to worry about police.

For the most part I have been lucky when it comes to the police. The police in the areas I've been seem laid back and are some what wiling to over look one or two people parked in a car over night. If some one complains they just ask you to go some place else, they recommend WalMart. The WalMart's in the area (there are 2 close by me) allow people to park over night, but as yet I've not had to go there.

The only time I had a real problem with the police occurred in January 2011, and the event was so hilarious, that I could not stop laughing. You remember the inner city friend, in who's drive way my Volvo got vandalized? Well, a blizzard struck this particular week, and I was back there again, because, been there, done that and I really do not recommend sitting out a blizzard in a car if you can possibly avoid it.

Well, when I got there, the apartment's lot was full, one of the family's had company and so the visitor parking was already taken. A city-wide parking ban meant no on-street parking, so I asked the local police what to do: Where can I park my car tonight? They Send me to the docks down on the river delta. During a parking ban the ship yard lets cars park there. So, car parked, I walk back to the apartment thinking I'm all set for the night.

Many hours and two feet of snow later, I wade my way back to the parking lot at the ship yard, which was several blocks away. I noted a police car parked out front of the apartment and several angry people yelling at the officer. I thought nothing of it.

Still walking towards the lot, I pass another police car and another crowd of angry people yelling at this second officer. I figure, it's the city, these things happen and keep walking.

Up ahead, I can see where the hill dips down to the dock: two more police cars down there and more angry people yelling at those officers. I look pass them to the lot: and that's when it hits me...no cars. Not a one. Not even my car. I look back up the street: nope, no cars back there either, just the two police cars I passed on the way down.

I walk back towards the nearest police car, past two more parking lots, both empty.

I walk up to the officer and say: "My car's gone. I think it got towed, How do I find out where it is?"

And that's when he tells me, what he apparently just got done telling every other person roaming the streets screaming and swearing at the top of their lungs: The City Public Works panicked last night, they thought the storm was going to be bigger than it was. They towed everybody. And by every body, he did mean EVERY BODY. EVERY SINGLE CAR for block after block after block after block had been towed. Every parking lot, every side street. Only cars in private drive ways remained, and in down town inner cities driveways are rare and far between. Some 200 cars had simply vanished during the night, and the police were busy trying to figure out which person went with which plate number and match them to which tow truck and which garage now had their car.

I couldn't help but laugh. I couldn't stop laughing. I was still laughing when the officer called out my Volvo's plate number and said: "We found your car, Alfred's got it." I was still laughing when I got to the garage and paid the $95 to get my car back. I was still laughing an hour later when I skidded off the road and drove into a snowbank, and my friend, whom had driven me to pick up my car and was now driving behind me, speed right on past and left me to dig myself out alone. I finally got out of the snow bank and got to where we was going and he asked: "What took you so long?" ...Uhm, I went off the road, I was stuck in a snow bank... He said: "Really, I thought you pulled over to wait for me to pass you."...Oh yes, I always pull off the road by burying the front of my car under 5 feet of snow. :D

I don't know why I found this event so funny, but it got even funnier the next day, when I drove up to my friend's apartment (after having parked in the next town over the night before) to find it had happened: AGAIN. For the second night in a row, people woke up to find all their cars towed. But this time, they had only themselves to blame, because the police had told us all the day before: NO PARKING ANYWHERE for 3 days, because the snow removal crew is coming in and the truck barely fit between the buildings as it is. Thus why I parked on the other side of the river the next night.

So, I'm currently a car-liver here. Not by choice originally, but after a few years (well 5) I'm feeling less and less inclined to want to go back to house living. I am much happier now than when I was in a house and I have so much freedom now that I did not have before.

I was fortunate to have a 4-door sedan (a Volvo) so can sleep on the back seat without too much uncomfort.

People tell me I should get a new car (as in something at least 20 years younger than the one I've got) and than if they find out I'm living in my car they say I REALLY NEED something newer. Well, I've had this Volvo like forever (well 5 years) and I'm used to it's little quirks, and really, for a car this old, it's in far better condition than a lot of newer cars I see on the road.

My advice to car livers: Your car is your single most important possession. Treat your car like it was your best friend, because if it has to spend a week in the shop: you have to spend a week on the streets (I know - been there!)

Make sure it's a car you like, because you'll be spending A LOT of time in it! EVERY DAY!

Make sure you keep it well tuned, change oil every 6 months, and fix any minor problem as soon as possible, because in cars, overlooked minor problems become big expensive "Oh My GOD" problems fast! What you could have fixed for $20 last week could become a $2,000 repair next week if you put it off. NEVER put off fixing minor repairs.

Make sure your car is not too small to live in and not so big that it eats up all your money with huge gas bills. If it's in really bad shape breaking down all the time, consider trading it in for something more reliable.

Remember: a car that is well suited for winter or cold climate regions may not be well suited for summer warm climate conditions. You'll need a good working heater in cold places and a good work AC in hot places.

Consider a trunk verses a station wagon verses a compact verses a van. Each has advantages and each has disadvantages. Consider how you will be living in your car and decide which style is best for your lifestyle.

At the end of the day: Don't worry, be happy. There is always tomorrow and good things come to those who wait, while the best things come to those who take the initiative.